The little issues have spiraled into a huge crisis. The silent treatment thats going on right now, is completely making your relationship deaf and mute. You can sleep in the same bed for an entire night and never once touch each other. There are problems in your relationship and you both know it. But what can you do to save it? What is there that you possible can try before its really too late?
The fact that you are both willing to try anything at all is a good sign in my book, and there are ways to save a relationship, but it takes patience and team work.
1. What made the two of you fall in love in the first place.
Were you blown away by her odd sense of humor? Did he drive you wild in his football jersey? What exactly attracted you to one another?
Find something from your mutual past and use it to reconnect with your partner. Take her to a comedy and club and watch her let loose. Dig out his old jersey and ask him to wear it.
Even if you have to put a litte bit of effort into doing the things they enjoy, go back in time to when your love was new. The feelings are still there, they have just been buried under the stress of life. Let them back out.
2. Touch for the sake of touching.
When we are angry, hurt or sad, we tend to withdraw back into ourselves. We stop reaching out to our loved ones and that makes them hurt, angry and sad. Reach out and stroke your wifes hair.
Run you hands up and down across your wifes back, and tell her that you love her.. Allow your hips to gently brush against one another as you pass in the hallway. Just touch each other.
3. Try a change of scenery.
Gazing at the same four walls when you are angry with someone can make the most beautifully decorated room feel like a jail cell.
Go away for the weekend, even if it is only to a local hotel. The change may allow you to calm down enough to discuss what is wrong, or maybe it will make your problems seem so unimportant that youll forget about it completely.
4. Talk about your issues ï
You have pouted for over a week because he did not notice your new hair cut. Unless you hacked off more than six inches of hair, it might be because he did not register such a subtle change as quickly as your female friends did.
Then again, maybe he did notice and didn’t really care for it. Maybe the whole point of him not saying anything is because he was afraid he would hurt your feelings. And yet, here you are, with hurt feelings.
Tell him about it. He cannot read your mind, so tell him that you cut your hair and that he did not notice. Tell him that you are mad as hell about it. Of course, after he tells you what he really thought about your hair, you might be even madder about that.
5. Seek counselling
If all else fails, try a couple’s counselor. If you truly want to save your relationship, the impartial wisdom of an outside party might be just the saving grace you need.
You vent to your friends, and they all agree that you have married a slovenly pig. He vents to his friends and they all agree with him that he has married a soul crushing shrew.
A counselor will not take sides and may be able to steer you onto the right path of self healing, especially if your relationship can be fixed.